Republican Leaders Charge: Obama Met with People Who Want Our President to Fail

Shortly after the conclusion of the combative healthcare summit today, GOP leaders assembled for a press conference to assert that they had overwhelming evidence that President Obama had recently met with an organization that wants our president to fail.

"We wouldn't be here announcing this if our concerns weren't serious," intoned Senate Minority Leader John Boehner, whose color-coded political threat tan was at the critical level.

"The fact of the matter," added House Minority Whip Eric Cantor, "is that President Obama has now gone far beyond his egregious apologies to the rest of the world for things Americans should be proud of, like torture and The New Adventures of Old Christine. He is now actively consorting with factions within our own country who are right now plotting the downfall of the current government. We know, and we have the commemorative cocktail napkins to prove it," he said, waving what appeared to be an embossed bevnap.

"While it pains us to level such grave charges," continued Boehner, "Mr. Obama knows what he needs to do in order to set things right with the American people. A comprehensive program of tax cuts and tort reform should be an important first step in rectifying the serious damage done to our great nation."

Cantor chimed in, "And some tickets to the Britney Spears concert wouldn't hurt either."